I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
