It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize