So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
