Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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