just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
