Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize