I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just had sex on a roof
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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