i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize