my room smells like sperm. sweet.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That was an excessively violent trivia night
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
