you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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