i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The best revenge is premature balding
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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