So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
