You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
