Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
