U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
