would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
