I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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