she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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