Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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