Your tits are I can't wait for
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
