then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
