Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I need a burrito and a hug.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
