I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
