I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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