i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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