yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
