Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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