Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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