SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
