Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
