Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
