you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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