Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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