It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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