She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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