I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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