question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
