Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
