Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
