Already got asked if we're dating
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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