question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
