At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
