I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
