Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You smell like stripper and shame
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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