I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
