no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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