Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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