I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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