you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
