what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize