farters have to be the big spoon...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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