I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
