there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
