i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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