Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
