Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
