I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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