So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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