he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
