Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't turn off my feet"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
