just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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