she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
