talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
